It’s been around 3 months since I’ve wrapped my arms around him… Since I’ve heard his voice… Since he’s made me smile… Since I’ve seen how he talks with his hands and how he moves his face…. Now, make that 30 minutes… And in those 30 minutes I realized how much I have not missed him and how much I have. I miss the smile that he put on my face, the hugs he gave, the stories of his past and the dreams he has… I don’t miss the times he lashed out on me or the times he made me feel little and unimportant or the times he made me cry.
Before we both got in our cars and drive off… He made it clear that he doesn’t want to “stoop down” and get my number or hang out with me now that I have changed.
Here I am… Wanting to reach back out to him simply as a friend and hand him the ball after he said he would be stooping down to even hang with me. What a jerk. I’m the one that stooped. I stooped low to even cater to his homeless ass and to drive him wherever he wanted to go. I’m the one wanting to stoop so low now as to text him how much I enjoyed seeing him.
I shouldn’t be allowed to make these types of decisions….